How I help...
Because we all need different things at different times, over the years I have evolved and trained in a number of disciplines.
Sometimes it feels like there is a shroud of secrecy surrounding many counsellors and so we actually know very little about the person with whom we book an appointment, other than their qualifications.
My aim is to be transparent, so long as it is helpful to you, whilst maintaining professional boundaries.
My clients say that they find my style helpful because I don't just sit there and nod for weeks on end, expecting you to find your own way with minimal input from me. Nor will I impose my own life choices on you.
What's really going on for you?
The intention is to spend some time talking about what's going on for you. We'll then have a clearer idea of what areas it might be helpful to explore and what types of solutions might benefit you.
My approach will differ depending on you. Generally though, I notice that we are lacking a basic balance in life. And I mean balance in all areas, so:
left brain/right brain
fun/excitement/stress/peace/calm/quiet and so on
I’ll help you achieve balance using various strategies listed below. For some clients all of these are needed, for others, we can pick up useful bits and work on them together.
Initially, we’ll talk/listen so I can really understand and hear what’s happening for you. This is always a starting point and if there is a lot of stuff to unload, it can take a couple of sessions. Of course this is something that unfolds piece by piece each session, so is really an ongoing process.
Depending on what comes up we’ll go through some really useful processes like:
Working on your Wheel of Life - this is really identifying what is working in your life and what isn't working so well.
Uncovering your top 2 Six Human Needs – these are your drivers, they motivate you to do what you do and can determine your behaviour
Values Illicitation Exercise – we’ll uncover where your values might be in conflict. Some people have so many rules that are in conflict, they have no way of winning at the game of life! An example might be that they are flat broke and hate being in debt but at their core, they have a value that says money is the root of all evil.
We can use genograms to uncover family patterns and how they may be holding you back, making you unwell or unhappy.
The Jigsaw Person Exercise is great for looking at the way in which you have given away or suppressed bits of yourself in order to be loved, approved of and accepted. We might then go looking for these lost pieces of ourselves in our partners and wonder why we end up hating the very bits that attracted us in the first place. It’s because we never resolved the issues that led to their suppression/disownership in the first place.
Beyond the counselling and coaching strategies outlined above, we can move towards NLP patterns. NLP is really useful in breaking patterns/bad habits at the unconscious level. Some processes involve going into a light trance where you are relaxed enough to let go of your worries and access your unconscious to make changes. This can be helpful for releasing all sorts of things like:
Cravings and sometimes addictions
Negative thought patterns
Fears and phobias